How mentorship fuels hybrid belonging
A tried and true relationship takes on new importance in the age of hybrid work
This letter is the third in October’s series on “Belonging”, part of the “Season of Connectedness” on the Showing Up newsletter, publishing October through February 2024 in which we explore the five power mindsets of strong distributed teams: Belonging, Meaning, Faith, Clarity and Joy. To start at the beginning of the Belonging series, start with this post: Do you struggle to belong?
One of the most prevalent experiences for hybrid and distributed workers is the feeling of loneliness, and belonging is a strong antidote to those feelings. This is why during the month of October we are exploring specific tactics to develop a sense of belonging for you and the rest of your distributed team.
Belonging Tip #3: Double down on a hybrid mentor
We likely all understand the concept of mentorship. The Oxford English Dictionary defines a “mentor” as “an experienced and trusted advisor.” Mentorship is usually when support and wisdom is passed from an older person to a younger one.
For those of us who work distributed from the rest of our team, mentorship is even more than the passing on of wisdom; it’s an intentional act of connection. By identifying a mentor or two who can support you, and likewise a few mentees you can in turn support, you are constructing a virtual support system whose interactions will help you feel more connected to your colleagues and your company.
In my experience, mentorship in distributed work creates connection best when:
Your mentor works within your same company, but in a different department. This gives you something in common - your company - but enables you to learn something new about another department or function.
Your mentors and mentees are geographically distant from you, and perhaps people you have never met. When you bridge distances with mentors, your view across the geographic span of the company is enhanced. If you are in Dallas and your mentor is in Frankfurt, you get a view into the company’s German business and colleague experience you might never have gotten otherwise. If you work in your company’s headquarters city, mentor another person who works in a small outpost. They will rely on you to get a read of the HQ vibe. If you never meet your mentor, it gives you one more experience building relationships across the miles, a skill that has taken on greater importance in the past few years.
Your mentors and mentees vary in seniority. I was once mentored by one of my company’s most senior female executives. She mentored me about career decisions and identifying skill gaps and how to fill them. Talking to her about my work also gave me a dry run communicating with a senior leader, learning how to express my team’s strategies and accomplishments in a way that would resonate at the highest levels, and seeing what I do through someone else’s fresh eyes.
“Sometimes we don’t realize how accomplished we are until we talk about it out loud with someone who has fresh eyes. They energize us with their wonder at learning something new. And this infusion of new thought, energy and wonder is a shot in the motivational arm when you’ve spent a long day on video calls.”
— Melissa Romo, “Your Resource Is Human: How empathetic leadership can help remote teams rise above”
Getting started with mentoring
If you don’t have a mentor currently, think about a part of the company you know little about, or a skill you would like to develop, or perhaps even a person in the company you admire and would like to learn from. Reach out to them and ask them to mentor you! I have never in my career had someone say “no” to a mentor request. They might tell me they can only meet a few times a year, and that’s ok, and it’s not a “no.”
Likewise make sure you are listed in your company’s mentorship programme list, if you do have one, and if you don’t then maybe it’s a good thing to introduce. Make sure you are spotting people you see comig up, whose careers you’d like to help nurture. Being a mentor gives us a strong sense of purpose and in many respects is even more rewarding than being mentored.
Lastly, what to talk about? I believe it is the mentee’s responsibility to guide the relationship, to let the mentor know what they need. So when you first meet with your mentor, have some ideas in mind of how the relationship can benefit you, don’t be shy to ask for certain types of help or advice. And sometimes the most important thing is to be honest — admit that you work distant from your team, sometimes feel lonely, and are hoping this mentor relationship can stem those feelings of separation. If your mentor knows what you need, they can be a much better mentor.
Wishing you belonging and mentorship in the week ahead! Be sure to read next week’s newsletter when I’ll publish a short diagnostic quiz for readers to test themselves on a range of mindsets and see just what Belonging needs to be for you.